The Cheese Makers

The smell of cheese is thick outside
and I am black within,
like a grilled cheese sandwiched flipped inside out,
with the reverse side showing outward
and the inverse side also showing outward.

I was made by those who've been
blown before me in a wind of
unrelenting Hogswallop, and I am
repugnant, and rather pungent.

Some say I look like fish and smell
like cheese, but I rather like to
think it's the other way around, or
perhaps more like a Chinamen, the
other ray awound---

Awound, and bound, like the
thoughtless sound, of mother's hoofs,
the coon and hound.

Let otherworldly thoughts astound,
this stinking, cheese like
secretions mound!


This poem is very dear to my heart, as I am a man who dearly loves his cheese. The title derives from the Monty Python smash hit 'The Life of Brian.' There is a delightful scene in that film in which a group of early-modern Christians are listening to Jesus Christ's Sermon on the Mount, and one of them mishears Jesus' pronouncement "Blessed are the Peace Makers" as "Blessed are the Cheese Makers." As you can see, it's all very funny, and yet endearing at the same time, like a priest who has legitimate non-sexual feelings of love for a little boy and gets removed from his priesthood by suspicious inquisitors.